Drama Melayu Sekarang

 There is something really disturbing about the quality of Malay drama nowadays. It is worrying up to the point of I am banning the kids from ever watching them. Why? Because of these reasons....

1. The reflections of the Malay society.

Balik-balik cerita Datuk, Dato', Tan Sri, Datin-datin. They are the extremely rich Malays, who live in big bungalows, drive super cars, wear expensive clothes and dine at luxurious restaurants. They have nothing to do but force their children into marrying other anak Datuk so they can save the company or something of that sort. Memang memanjang jela storyline tak berubah. Macam orang Melayu kejenye dekat office je, anak datuk, waris syarikat mak bapak. What about those from other line of works? There are also Malays that work as doctors, firefighters, nurses, lawyers, engineers, shopkeepers, salesman, clerks, etc. And even if the characters came from these various backgrounds, you will be amazed at how little did the scriptwriter made his/her research on the characters job scope alone. Then, tertanya-tanya, eh ade ke doktor perangai macam tu? or cikgu apa ajar macam tu? Kalau engineer or architect tu balik-balik with the yellow hat, bukak plan and tunjuk itu-ini dekat site. 

Credit: Buasir Otak

2. Force marriage

I don't deny that this happened in the society. But to have that shoved in your throat every single time a new drama comes out is a bit too much. I mean come on. Parents nowadays are more open minded so why don't you portray that too. Ok lagi kalau force marriage or arranged marriage sebab atuk/nenek tinggal wasiat or nak selamatkan bisnes or sebab nak suruh anak kahwin dengan ustaz ke but what about cerita pasal those who were forced into marriage sebab she was raped or tangkap khalwat. Now, that sure open a big can of worms. Why? What are they suggesting? Is it ok for you to be married to people who raped you because at the end of the day, they will fall in love and live happily ever after. No, it is not ok and I don't want the younger generations to ever feel that it is such a righteous act. 

3. The dominant male 

Bila kene kahwin paksa, look at how the male characters in the drama treat their wives. They use harsh words, aku kau dengan bini, derogatory remarks like bodoh, bongok etc, ask their wives to do things against their will tapi sebenarnya sayang. And the wives pun ikut je, pasrah like they don't have voices at all. The female characters look so weak and helpless, which is why I don't want my daughter to ever watch these dramas at all. Heck,, I don't even want my son to ever feel that it is ok to ever disrespect women like that at all.

4. Same storyline

Bila dah baik laki bini, then adalah orang ketiga keempat. They are either their ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, their officemates etc. The exes then berkomplot nak rampas balik ex masing-masing. Yang laki bini pulak tak trust each other. Then, adelah pelbagai coincidence mcm the next point ni which brings conflict to their relationship, again. Nak bercerai bagai. And you, as the audience will be like, apa yang susah sangat, be frank je lah with each other.

5. Coincidence?

Banyak sangat coincidence nye? I mean, Malaysia might be a small country, tapi tak pelik ke setting kat KL tapi boleh pulak terjumpa bini dengan ex pakwe dekat Langkawi tengah makan. Or bini terjumpa laki dekat shopping mall tengah jalan dengan officemate. Tahu tak berapa banyak kedai dekat Pavillion or Mid Valley tu?

I truly believe that there are a lot of scriptwriters out who are truly honest and serious in their work. They wanted to present Malaysia as it truly is but they were not given the right incentives.Please lah stop adaptasi dari novel-novel ni and janganlah mimpi terlanggar dengan anak-anak datuk yang hensem dekat kedai kopi, kahwin, gaduh and live happily ever after. Cinta tak semudah itu.

Child Sexual Abuse

 I am having trouble sleeping after following the recent sexual abuse claim  involving a minor. The case has been getting public attention as it happened in a maahad tahfiz owned by a celebrity ustaz and one of the perpetrators is the ustaz's son. The parents of the said victim have contacted the school but they were told that they shouldn't trust their own kid. Feeling helpless the parents contacted Wardina Safiyyah and Syed Azmi, both are very vocal about kids sexual abuse cases and through FB, the case went viral and people start paying attention. You can google if you want to know more about the case.

I am not here to take sides since the case is still under investigation. But reading the comments really break my heart. Why? 

1. The blame the victim game. Accusing them of slander and trying to tarnish the ustaz's name. Saying things like the kids have discipline problem, but even if it is true, will that justify the heinous crime made against the kids?
2. The netizens who are still saying things like the issue should be made silenced in the name of religion. Haven't they heard sexual abuse cases involving the church before? How is this different? 
3. Those who are sharing their sexual abuse stories and how it affected their lives even when they are all grown-ups.

We need to educate the kids. They need to know how they can prevent it from happening. What we can do is:

1. Talk to them about their body parts and make them identify their private parts. Tell them that only you (mom/dad) can see them naked. People outside the house can never see them naked except the doctor and even then, mommy and daddy need to be there with them.
2. Teach them that no one can touch their private parts. Tell them also that they can't touch people's private parts.
3. Explain to them that they should run, scream and quickly inform other grown-ups if they feel that they have been violated.
4. Tell them that they will never be in trouble if they share anything with you because most perpetrators will use threats and secret-keeping to ensure the kids keep quiet about the abuse.

As parents, we need to listen to our kids and we need to be aware of any changes with our children, no matter how small they are.

No Sew Eye Patch

AZ woke up today with her left eye all red. She was all ok about it except the itchiness that was starting to annoy her a little bit. I had to tell her to wash her hands every few hours. Once a while, I need to gently clean the gooey green discharge from her eyes. But that still didn't stop her from rubbing the infected eye. I was scared that it might further inflamed the eye so I made her an eye patch. 

 
It is quite easy really. No sewing skill needed. You just need to have fabric glue or a stapler, really. The rest are scissors, elastic, a piece of fabric (I just use my extra charm square) and a felt (in my case, I used my baju kurung shoulder pad). Basically any fabric that is soft so it won't irritate the eye.

First, measure how big do you want the eye patch to be. Cut out two semi circular shape with rounded edges. For the front part, I used the charm square and the soft shoulder pad at the back.  Glued them together and you are halfway done. 

Then, attach the elastic to the patch. I used fabric glue but you can just go ahead and staple them together. 

I used pegs while waiting for the glue to dry.

And you are done! 

I Really Need to Travel

Whenever I feel so confined in my own house, I will normally take out my travel book and scan through the pages, remembering all the places that I have visited and loved. I wasn't and I am not that organized (nor will I ever be), so the travel book never really function as my travel planner or organizer. I just love to keep and record any things that I might find interesting. 

I kept bus tickets, tags, entrance tickets, boarding passes, pressed coins, maps, stickers, cards, house keeping notes, postcards, magazine articles etc.

During my travel to Japan, I'll make sure that I collected the train or Eki stamps at their every train station. In Japan alone, there are 9000++ train stations and that is a staggering number for a small country like Japan. Most of these stations have their own unique stamps. They are normally a picture of local attractions or something that the area is famous for. The stamp above however was not from any train stations, but it was from a very famous toy shop called Kiddyland in Harajuku. Mind you that most buildings or landmarks in Japan also have their own formal stamps. 

 

I also have this habit of drawing the room plans of any hotels, apartments that I've stayed. Somehow I feel that it helps me to be able to remember the experience later on. 

When I told you that anything goes in my travel book, I really meant it. I also let the kids draw and write things  that they like in my travel book. The drawing above was while waiting for our orders to arrive at Tokyo Pancake Cafe in Kamata. This was the time when they always brought along their dinosaurs during most of our travels. Kinda miss that moment when most of our photos of the kids, will include their best buddies too.

Suddenly feel like the need to book a ticket and just go. 

 But first, I need to do the laundry and pick up the kids from school...

Kids Need to Watch This: Fresh Guacamole by PES

This short film was nominated in the 2013 Oscar. 

If your kids love deep sea creatures, they would probably want to watch this also:

 

The Danger of Online Shopping

Don't you just hate it when you got this in your mails?

Yes, I'm guilty of spending hours browsing through the dresses and pants and scarves and bags and then putting them all in my cart with the intention of hmmm...I'm probably going to purchase all of them....NOT. And just like that I logged out. And I forget about them until I receive mails saying things like:

YOU LEFT YOUR SHOPPING BAG BEHIND

Don't worry we saved it for you! Take 15% off and grab it now!

or

 

HI. YOUR SHOPPING BAG IS WAITING!

or

 

YOUR SHOPPING BAG ITEMS ARE ON SALE 

or

HI. WE MISS YOU!
Have you seen our latest styles?

It is complete torture. Now, I have to go back and browse through all over them again. I'll probably buy them and other stuff as well just so I don't have to be reminded time and time again that I made the wrong decision of putting items in the cart and not buying them. And now that the items are on sale, what's the harm in buying them, right? 

Thanks, but no thanks.

I Yelled at My Son

Have you ever had a day where everything, everything went completely wrong? Yesterday was that day for me. I woke up in the middle of the night for my routine toilet break and noticed blood spots on my underwear. Since, this was not my first incident, there were no reasons for me to be alarmed. I laid down and did the kick counts and I just knew that I was probably too tired from the other day. I decided to put aside all my plans for that day and try to get as much rest as possible.

With that being said, I still need to send AZ to school and AM to his class. Since AM is still on his school break, I decided to enrol AM to a 5-day programme where he will learn some sort of survival skill in a jungle near KL with four other kids. There is an orang asli who will be their guide and teach them all these interesting activities. I just have to pick up the kids at their respective schools at 3 pm. Ample time for me to rest....or so I thought.

I received a call at 12 pm from AM's teacher telling me that AM has been misbehaving. She was being all nice about it asking me whether AM had a different expectation about the program. Of course I said no, telling her that AM was so excited about it as he loves everything related to nature. After that conversation, there was no way I could go back to rest and came 3 pm, you bet, I was already at the front gate of the school, waiting.

I interrogated AM and yup, I snapped. I yelled at him. I knew I shouldn't do that. I wish I didn't let my emotions took control over me but I was really mad at him. Although the teacher explained that AM might have been misbehaving because he was playing with the other kid, but I just blocked everything out. It didn't help either when I learned from his story how he was being disrespectful to everybody. Oh, he had his punishment I tell you. And later that night, I let The Dad took over because I knew if it was me, nothing good will come out of it. I was just too tired and too stressful to begin with. AM apologized to me before going to bed that night and this morning he seemed to forget everything that has happened yesterday. He gave me his usual morning hugs and greeted me with his widest smile ever.....which made me feel more guilty. Children are so forgiving, don't you think?

I am such a bad mom. Haishh.